Christmas 2010

We had a really good Christmas. Mom was able to come out to our family day on boxing day and enjoyed herself till about 4pm when she headed out the door of the party room and was headed home no matter what so we drove her home. Last year she wanted to stay for the whole time but I'm glad she was happy for at least a few hours.

My reward for helping her make the white snowflakes to give out was that about the fourth time I went in to work on them with her she said: "Oh there's our stars!" when I pulled them out. I never expected her to remember them at all. Of course when I gave them to her to give them out she didn't remember them, but I'm grateful for that one time that she did.

About a week before Christmas I attended a church service with Mom at her nursing home. It was headed by the three pastors of the three churches in the small town she lives in. That's her in the top picture enjoying reading the Christmas carols. She especially enjoyed Joy To The World and kept reading it even after the minister began his talk. Right in the middle she called out loudly, "Repeat the sounding joy! Repeat the sounding joy!"

Behavior like that would have been devastating to her before Alzheimers but is pretty much par for the course at a nursing home. The minister was not bothered in the slightest. Later in her room she told me that there were children down the hall practicing carols and Dana (one of her now grown up grand children) called out loudly right in the middle of a minister's talk! I'm glad she assigned the gaff to a child in her mind and didn't remember doing it herself.

There's a lot of flu and cold going around and we hope Mom doesn't get sick but I think she would gladly take the risk no matter what to be around her family and we had a pretty great Christmas!

Here's the movie:

http://www.vimeo.com/18204425

Sew Sew

Mom is doing well. Last year this time she was in the hospital. I remember because that's where she was when we did our annual craft to give out at the family Christmas. This year we can do it in the comfort of her home. I will never stop being grateful that she considers her nursing home as home most of the time. She has her bad days where she feels she needs to leave but for the most part she is content - such a gift! When I talk to friends who's parents suffer from strong paranoia and delusions that the people in the next room are coming to chop their heads off or that there is an on going earthquake happening they feel so helpless to comfort their parents.

Mom and I shared supper then we got to work on this year's Christmas craft. I was amazed again by how fleeting her short term memory is when she sewed. I had thought that a simple basting stitch around the edge of the snowflake would be easiest for her to do but she was stuck on the blanket stitch and if I had wanted it to look perfect I would have had to tell her with every single stitch what to do. That certainly wasn't something that I was going to do and sewing was actually pretty tough for her manually and so the middle snowflake in the picture above became the most special because it's the only one she'll actually sew. I'm selfish enough that it will become mine.

This is a little movie I put together of last night's visit:

http://www.vimeo.com/17787741

Thanks for your faithful readership Viki, how are you and your family doing?

Even

Quality of life. My mother still has it. Things have pretty much been the same lately. Mom has not been ill and so is operating at a fairly good level. She's at all the in house activities and doesn't seem to be sad.

The other week I had my nieces and nephew out for some fun and we stopped in at Mom's to do some cookie decorating. Mom was so enthused that she almost wrestled the cookie container away from my nephew so we could get started. She hasn't lost her creativity or sense of humour. When I told her she was a cookie decorating expert she held up her hand, laughed and said, "And I'm wearing that expertize all over my fingers!"

I feel guilty that I don't visit more often and I would if she were distressed or ill. Right now we're on an even keel, a lull, but you never really stop waiting for the phone call that will tell you that she's sick again and then you gather up your energy and resources and wade in for the battle.

Better Than Okay

I'm a little fearful of saying this but here goes. Mom is doing quite well! She seems much more happy and content and I think we've learned quite conclusively that when the behaviors start we need to investigate her health and pain levels.

These pictures are typical of visits lately. Last year they installed a really beautiful garden walkway along most of the front of the building and it really does feel like sitting in a park. Lots of shade and little area's where you can have a private conversation or you can gather in the main group. But the main thing is the flowers, Mom could talk about them for hours, and enjoys each one anew every few minutes!

I am so thankful for better than okay!

Okay

Mom is doing better again and I think we are back to "normal." On Friday she had a bad evening where she refused to eat, spit out her pain med even though she was crying out with pain, and pushed a staff person. We will be watching her pain level more closely because I think that was the main problem. My brother went in and stayed with her and she calmed down and ate enough food so she could have her insulin. The staff member that Mom pushed had her fingers in Mom's mouth because she thought she might be choking and had seemed to kind of pass out. When Mom came to there was someone with their fingers in her mouth. I'm just glad it was a push rather than a severe bite which it could have been.

I don't think that the front line workers at nursing homes get enough praise or recognition. Yes, some are better at it than others, but it's still never easy and the rewards fairly fleeting.

So this is me saying thank you and I'll say it again loud and clear next week at the family meeting at her home!

Mother's Day

From a memory jogging calender my sister brought Mom a few years ago.

Love you!

Mom's hanging in there. She didn't end up having to go to the hospital and we're hoping the increased pain and mood problems will be resolved as the pain of the bladder infection decrease. Pain on top of everything else just doesn't seem fair but Mom would be the last person to complain about anything like that.

Worry

Yesterday the place where Mom lives called to say that she has a bladder infection again and they've started her on medication for it. Mom is often up during the night so maybe that's why just now when I went to see her she had crawled into bed and wouldn't get up or talk much. I happened to get there right when a Mother's day tea party was starting but between 3 of us trying we couldn't get her to get out of bed for it and she's not usually one to miss activities unless she's sick. I didn't get quite as gruff a "get lost" as the staff did.

But who knows in an hour or two she could be up and about again. I asked her if she was in pain and she said yes and when I asked what hurt she said "all over." And it's a wet damp cold day so that could be it too.

I'm just really hoping this isn't a precursor to the problem with her electrolytes that landed her in the hospital 3 times in the last year.

I let the nurses know about what she said about the pain and they thanked me and told me that Mom has a blood test every week to check her electrolytes, and the last test was just today so that's good so we can stay on top of the sodium level in her blood and hopefully unlike last year we can keep her out of the hospital this Mother's Day!