Speaking above a whisper

As I mentioned in my first post, I struggle with how open this blog should be. Not that it has a wide audience by any means, but there've been hints that I may be violating my Mothers privacy as well as my own. I acknowledge that and want to be as respectful as possible. The part that most people don't see is that my Mother's real day to day life no longer contains privacy. People talk over her head like she doesn't understand English; her washroom door needs to be left open for safety reasons - deeply upsetting to her because she can't remember that she needs help.

But people don't want to think about the day to day life of a person with Alzheimer's, and as long as that's okay, the disease is going to be on a back burner.

People ask "How's your mother?"

I've learned to keep it short and simple - a general word about her physical health. They don't want to hear, "Well today she made a list of all of her children, and my younger sister and I were not on it."

People need to keep a distance in case it happens to their family. Long before my Mother was affected by memory loss a hush would fall over her group of quilters if they spoke even obliquely about someone they knew who was getting "confused." Sometimes it was even hinted that it was just desserts meted out by God to that person. But that was extreme, usually there was just a hush, and a topic change.

So do I think my Mother would be Gung-ho for a blog about her? No, not really. (Although she would love that I showed off her puppets)

Would she ask me not to do it? No, both of my parents would not discourage me from doing something I felt I needed to do.

Am I damn tired of the hush, the hush that is the topic of Alzheimer's? You bet your sweet bippy I am.

Tonight I got to wondering if there's a ribbon colour for Alzheimer's. You know, like pink for breast cancer. Yes there is, and it's purple. Trouble is purple is also the colour for 27 other causes and I don't think that bodes well for a disease that people can't even say out loud.