Bingo

Today Mom was sharp! I came in and she was playing Bingo. Six cards at once! Now that was too many cards for her to keep up with but still, that she was up and about totally participating in an activity is such a big change from a week ago.

I have such mixed emotions. I am happy that she is doing so much better. Really happy about that. At the same time I want to cry because I don't know when the next phone call will come with the next down turn. The best way I can describe how I feel is "emotionally guarded."

Still we had a nice visit and she seemed to like the bunny I brought her for Valentines. She immediately told me a story about how the bunny came in this morning's mail from my sister. If you are a person who needs to get credit for giving a gift, Alzheimers is not the disease for you! A few minutes later she told me she'd made the cat and the bunny and thought they were a little too big but turned out okay.

There are still times when she questions why she would have so many stuffed animals and together we explain them away as being something for the grand kids to play with when they come, but mostly they are just a great comfort to her. If you drop in anytime that she is already or still in bed she is almost always cuddling with one of them. The stuffed animals are probably the best things I have done for her during this illness. That is something that makes me proud.

Something that doesn't make me so proud happened today. I had decided not to test Mom on knowing who am, but had an idea that she might because she seemed so lucid, but then the nurse that "lacks tact" came in with Mom's medication, handed her a glass of water and asked Mom to tell her who I was. Mom seemed thirsty, tried to take a drink of water and the nurse pulled the cup away from her lips and asked the question again. Mom was concentrating on the cup of water a few inches from her mouth and didn't answer right away. That happened three times till Mom finally answered, "Why, Ruth of course!" and got to drink some water.

I understand that asking the question was diagnostic, but denying her a sip of water until she answered was not. I am the product of two very pacifistic parents. I didn't get angry about the nurse pushing the glass away from Mom till much later. I know Mom would not have wanted me to react at all anyway, I just wish it would have occurred to me at the time to ask the nurse to allow her to have her water no matter what.

Mom won't remember any of this. The only imprint of my visit today will be a fuzzy rabbit that will hopefully be a comfort to her, and to me when I picture it in her arms.